That Doesn't Happen In Band
by Rachelle31
Summary: A drum major, a section leader, a forbidden love unlike any other. What happens at band camp, well, this time it doesn't stay at band camp.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello there! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. Any place mentioned is their own, although a few places are made up. If you happen to go to my school and find yourself as one of my characters, I hope you don't hate me. This is rated T because, I mean, it is marching band. Now, enjoy my fic! **_

_**-Rachelle31**_

It was finally here. That wonderful time of summer that you've been waiting for since the season ended. Band camp was finally upon us! This was the most exciting event of anyone's summer, and even though it was pure pandemonium, the joy on everyone's faces, including mine, was awesome.

The campus of Allegheny College was beautiful, with lots of trees and ancient buildings that you'd expect in Pennsylvania. We lived in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio and attended Karlin High School, but every summer for two weeks we drove over the border to band camp in Pennsylvania. They let us use the place before school started, and it hadn't been that hard to convince them, at least that's what our band director said. Mr. Sacket could convince anyone to do anything, and that belief had only been strengthened five years ago when, instead of having band camp at our high school like everyone else, he told us we would be going away instead.

Every year on Sunday night, he would tell us the story of how an away band camp came to be. For the freshman, they got to learn a bit more about the band. For the upperclassmen, it was a tradition, which the seniors often filmed. He'd tell us about thinking up the idea when helping at a band function earlier one summer where the students stayed on a college campus for a few days, which they really seemed to enjoy. It took a while, but eventually he got to the part about finding Allegheny, which surprisingly said they wouldn't charge him to use their campus. It was perfection, he said, and now we came every year for two weeks to teach the rookies to march, learn the show, and memorize music.

We had fun too. If you had a cell phone you could look up numbers and order delivery food, which could include anything from pizza to Chinese take-out. Since the dorms we stayed in had five floors (1 floor per class/grade and one floor for chaperons and instructors) elevator parties with card games and snacks were common. The seniors had fun every year with their prank. Last year it was walking through the halls at 3am and playing "Americano" as loud as they possibly could. My freshman year, they'd rubbed a thin layer of Vaseline over the handrails, buttons in the elevator, and the faucets in the bathrooms so you couldn't wash your hands afterward.

Now I was a junior and band camp was the most anticipated event of the entire summer. I spotted my friend Megan through the crowd, and I pulled my bag behind me to get closer to her. Her back was to me, so I stood on my toes and put my mouth as close to her ear as I could and whispered, "Boo." She jumped and whirled around, eyes wide until she saw me laughing. Her face broke into a grin and she gave me a hug.

"Hi Nicole, you scared me. How has your summer been?" It was a long line for registration, which wasn't really a line at all, more of a blob. Since our last names weren't very close to each other, it just gave us a better opportunity to talk.

"It was pretty good. We went to China again to visit my grandparents. How about you?" It didn't take much to get her talking, and her family actually did something interesting every summer instead of the same thing. This year they'd gone to Chicago, and by what Megan was telling me, they'd had a really fun time.

"We got to see the Cloud Gate, which is huge. It looks big in pictures, wait until you see it in person. I have a picture of my dad and brother pretending like they're carrying it on their shoulders. We went to the Symphony Center and saw the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, which was incredible, and went to the Goodman Theatre. Plus we stopped by the Art Institute of Chicago, and I've got a picture of me on one of the bronze lions outside of the front, since they wouldn't let us take any pictures inside. My Mom and I went shopping and looked at the gardens at the Navy Pier while my Dad and Andrew saw a rock concert. I'm not sure who performed, but when we got back to the hotel Dad took two Advil's and went straight to bed." I laughed; I knew Megan's family pretty well. Her Dad worked at a publishing company, he wouldn't be the type to like rock concerts, but he was too much of a family man to not spend time with his kids on vacation.

Her parents drove her to band camp every year too, and her brother had come last year and the year before. This year, though, Andrew was starting his freshman year at Denison College and hadn't driven with them.

My parents had never driven me to band camp. My freshman year I'd ridden with Megan, and we'd had so much fun, stopping at a Greek Restaurant for dinner and singing at the top of our lungs to the radio. Last year, I'd ridden up with my section leader and probably half of the clarinet section. We'd had fun, but it was pure madness with 7 people stuffed into her Mom's mini-van. I'd vowed to never do that again, so this year I'd ridden with someone else.

I'd met Jacob my freshman year of high school when he was a sophomore, at band camp. I had snuck into the auditorium of the school and was playing 'A Thousand Miles' on the piano, and I hadn't heard anyone come in. Jacob hadn't come in the front door, he'd come in the back because I'd left it ajar so I could sneak back out later. He watched me play the whole song, and when the last note simmered through the air and finally faded, he applauded behind the curtain. I'd jumped up so fast I'd knocked over the piano bench, and he'd stepped out of the curtain, still clapping. I'd blushed and would have run off the stage if he hadn't struck up a conversation with me.

Now we were pretty much best friends, and he was defiantly my best guy friend. Megan would tease me mercilessly about him, and she had ever since we'd met. But nothing had ever come from it, which was fine with me and annoyed her.

After we got registered, we went to our dorm. We put our clothes in dressers and made our beds, then went back downstairs to see the rest of our friends arriving. They showed up, sometimes alone and sometimes in groups, and we all hugged and chatted about our summer vacation. We also speculated about what our marching show would be.

Mr. Sacket chose the marching show at the end of the school year, but didn't tell any of the students until Sunday night at band camp once he'd finished his 'how band camp came to be' story. Every year we would always speculate about it incessantly until he told us. This year, however, I'd figured out a secret. He told two students what the show would be the Saturday before camp started. They were the drum majors, and he would call them up Saturday evening and tell them the show, then e-mail them the drill and music.

So while my friends speculated, I already knew. As one of the drum majors, I technically had a right to. The drill and music were all in sheet protectors in a binder in my room upstairs, hidden under the mattress from Megan's prying eyes. Our show this year was entitled 'Night At The Opera', with all the music by Jay Bocook. However, I kept my lips sealed while my friends spouted out ideas.

"It'll be Star Wars this year, defiantly." We all laughed. Tyler guessed Star Wars every year, and when it finally happened, if it ever did, he was going to be thrilled. I wanted to tell him not to get his hopes up, but I couldn't.

"Maybe something with more jazz in it than last year," suggested Kayla. Last year we'd done 'Blood, Sweat, and Tears' which was pop, and the year before 'Musica Fuerte', which had Latin music. She was an avid member of jazz band and was first chair trombone in her class, and I could tell she really wanted to perform something that could show off her skill.

Other people spat out ideas, but I kept my mouth shut. I couldn't really guess, because I already knew, and I was a terrible liar. Knowing me, I'd give it away and ruin it for everybody. Guessing every year was half the fun, so I just laughed or agreed with suggestions and tried not to draw attention to myself so no one would ask what I thought.

Jacob came over eventually, and I couldn't help but smile a little brighter when he stood next to me. Megan elbowed me lightly with a grin to let me know she had seen it, and I rolled my eyes at her. In high school, it was impossible for two people of different genders to be friends and nothing more.

"I hope we play something Russian. We'd defiantly win any competition with that." Jacob's guess surprised me, but once you thought about it, it made sense. Last year we'd gotten second at one our competitions to a band playing a Russian show entitled 'Shostakovich', and he remembered that to this day. "What do you think Nicole?" Of course he would ask me. I bit my lip as if I was thinking and tried to come up with anything but our actual show.

"How about... Pirates of Penzance, maybe? I saw the play over the summer, it was really cool. If we could play that, the crowd would love us." It was probably the weakest suggestion ever, but it got them off my tail. My friend Emily actually agreed with me and kept the conversation rolling, and I resisted the urge to wipe my forehead in relief. Once Mr. Sacket told us tonight, this was going to be a lot easier. Until then, though, I would just have to keep the secret. It wasn't really that hard, until somebody asked.

People continued to arrive, and I saw nervous freshman, rowdy sophomores, anxious juniors, and content seniors. The other drum major came eventually, and he was a senior. Matthew had been drum major last year, so he already knew what to do, and this, he claimed, would be his crowning year in the band.

He went by Matt for short and played sousaphone, so the band had a brass and a woodwind drum major. Mr. Sacket didn't always choose it like that, he chose people based on who was best, but when it did work out he was thrilled. This year it had worked out that way, and the only problem was that I had never spoken to him before in my life. We'd gone out to lunch once and spoken at the end of the school year, and gotten to know each other better over the summer. Now, you could consider us friends.

He nodded at me on the way down the Senior Boy's hallway, and I waved back. Jacob looked at us for a second, made a bit of a face, but kept up with the conversation. Once our little posse dispersed, he pulled me into a corner. There was no private place to talk at band camp, but he was trying. His face wasn't happy.

"What was that?" I cocked my head at him, curious as to how exactly to answer him. It had been a saying-hi-with-no-words kind of gesture, nothing more.

"He was just acknowledging my presence, it wasn't a big deal." He rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"Sure, that 'wasn't a big deal'. He's a senior, you're a junior; you're both drum majors, so you met up a lot during the summer. Is something going on that I should know about?" Was he seriously suggesting that we had hooked up?

"Are you crazy Jacob? Matt and I are just friends, nothing more. Besides, why do you care?" It was a rhetorical question, of course. I knew why he cared; the whole band probably knew why he cared.

Jacob and I had an interesting relationship. He liked me, and I liked him, but when he asked me out last year, my parents had issued a swift denial. I had to focus on grades, they claimed, and had refused for me to accept him as my boyfriend. We could have just dated each other behind our parent's backs, but getting caught would have meant my parents not paying for band next year. And that was something I just couldn't risk, and something he was not going to ask me to do.

So now he had a different girlfriend. She was pretty, much prettier than me, with red curly hair and flashing green eyes. Her laugh was infectious, and she could make anyone laugh, it was one of the things he loved about her. Jacob had asked her out at the end of last year, when it became clear that nothing was going to happen between us.

He still came over for movie nights, and we'd stay up until 11 o'clock on Saturday's watching whatever he brought over. One week it would be a horror movie, the next a comedy. I didn't really care, and to be honest, I liked the horror ones, because it gave me an excuse to hide my face in his shoulder and for him to put his arm around me. My parents usually went out of town on weekends, since they had a cabin in Lake Erie. I let them have their romantic getaways; it gave me more time to myself. And if I was home alone, it's not like they could keep Jacob from coming over.

He stared at me for a second, took my hand lightly in his, and ran his thumb over my knuckles. I pulled back almost instantly. Almost. Because I wanted to believe that if I threw myself into his arms, he'd hold me there and never let go. But it was too painful, when he did things like this. So I had to pull myself away.

"I care about you, Nicole, and if you two were dating, I'd like to know, that's all." I shook my head, my short hair falling into my eyes briefly until I pushed it away.

"You know we're not dating, Jacob, you didn't have to ask." There was an understanding between us, that as soon as I got out from under my parents roof, we'd be together. I was waiting for that, and I wouldn't be dating anyone else until that fateful day came. But Jacob didn't exactly see it that way.

He thought he was free to do what he wanted until I graduated and we could start dating. Technically he could, he was a free human being, and I knew he really liked Courtney. True, he hadn't asked me, but he didn't need my permission to do things.

His eyes sheepishly met the ground at my statement. He knew what I meant. After a few moments pause, he lifted his chin and smiled.

"Well, if you do have the hot's for him, I'll tell him to ask you out." I laughed and punched his arm, making him look deeply wounded before heading back to his dorm.

Once everyone had arrived, Mr. Sacket gathered us in the auditorium and officially began band camp. He told his story, which I saw a lot of people filming, and he paused at the end before announcing the marching show. 'Night At The Opera' got everyone talking, and he dismissed us back to the dorms so we could chat until bedtime. It was only 8 now, and bedtime was 10.

Megan was thrilled, and we went back to our room to call in pizza. When it finally arrived, we chatted nonstop until the chaperons came around and told us to go to bed. Last year on the first night of band camp, we'd stayed up an extra hour or two and talked, but this year I switched off the light and climbed under the covers.

"We're not going to talk anymore?" I glanced at her sad expression, nodding slowly. She slipped into her bed too, waiting for me to explain the change.

"I can't be too tired tomorrow. I don't want the whole band staring at me while I yawn for half of practice. And you know Mr. Sacket would call me out on it too. So sleep time it is, especially since I'm waking up at 5am." She groaned.

"You don't have to go running every morning you know. Band should keep you fit."

"Not standing on a podium all day it doesn't. Drum majoring works your arms, nothing else. And I like to run. Mr. Sacket said I could go with one of the chaperons who goes jogging in the morning too." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Just don't wake me up." I laughed and turned over. If there was one thing no one wanted interrupted at band camp, it was sleep.

"I'll try." I rolled over and faced the wall, hoping Megan would take the hint that I was tired. She did, and soon I could feel the mist of sleep creeping into my brain.


	2. Chapter 2

Morning came much too soon. I'd tried to stock up on as much sleep as possible the week earlier, but when my alarm went off at 5, I still through my arm over my eyes, praying that if I ignored the sound, it might fade. Of course it stayed insistent, and I got up and turned it off before it woke Megan. Pulling my clothes on as quietly as I could, I grabbed my shoes and headed out the door. Once I was got to the hallway, I sat down to tie them and found Ms. Boyden. We didn't run for long, about half an hour, before I went back to my room and found Megan, very grudgingly rousing herself from the bed.

I hopped in the shower and then pulled some dry clothes on, leaving the bathroom free for Megan while I got my binder, slathered on sunscreen and bug spray, and headed out the door. Only Mr. Sacket was downstairs, reading a book waiting for people to come down. When I'd made drum major last year, he'd pulled me aside and laid down the rules for being a drum major. One of them was that we were always supposed to come early and stay late, no exceptions. I was 15 minutes early and 5 minutes later Matt showed up, binder in hand and OSU hat covering his hair. Mr. Sacket glanced up at us and smiled, but kept on reading.

A few minutes till, the rest of the band filed down the stairs and popped out of the elevator, rubbing eyes and stifling yawns. It was 6am, who could blame them? Even the instructors look tired. We were used to it by now, but you could pick out the freshman from their bewildered expressions as the stars faded from the sky outside.

We ate breakfast and tried to shake ourselves awake, then Matt and I were in charge of stretches. We put everybody in parade block and started stretching, which woke everybody up more than breakfast had. We'd come up with names for everything, like Superman to stretch out our legs and a song when we did arm circles. Matt and I grinned at each other as we announced arm circles, heard everyone groan, and began.

"Okay, repeat after me." Matt began, and I smiled. This was going to be so much fun. "I love arm circles." The upperclassmen groaned, the freshman looked confused, but everyone dutifully repeated.

"I love arm circles."

"Arm circles I adore!" Pretty much everyone hated them, but again, you heard the echo of the whole band, strained or not.

"Arm circles I adore."

"And since I cannot feel them!" The biggest lie ever. Arm circles burned the beginning of your freshman year, but after you got used to them, it wasn't that bad.

"And since I cannot feel them."

"I'll do 10,000 more!" We would probably do 10,000 of them by the time we graduated, although no one really counted. Someone should, just to see how many we really did.

"I'll do 10,000 more." Everyone dropped their hands to their sides, and after a call to attention, we marched down to the practice field.

It was 10 minutes before the official start time, so everyone milled around, talking to friends, setting down water bottles and getting out instruments. Anyone who had forgotten bug spray or sunscreen slathered on some of the extra they always brought from the medical tent, and then began receiving coordinates from their section leaders. Matt and I had already situated ourselves on the podiums, him on one to the right, mine on the left. Watching the clarinet section, I felt a pang of loss, which surprised me. I had been thrilled to make drum major, and I should be happy. But we didn't have drill, obviously, and I wouldn't be Clarinet number 9, or 14, or any other number. I finally had a name, true, and a very official title, but the loss of coordinates and a number was surprisingly sad.

I looked over at Matt practicing, and pushed that out of my head. Flipping over my binder, I began to practice on the last tune. We'd met twice a week every week over the summer, and had memorized all of the music. At least he had; I was still a little shaky on the last piece, 'Coronation Scene' or 'CS' for short from Boris Gudunov. But we wouldn't be performing that today, and the first two pieces, 'Ruslan and Ludmilla' and 'Nessun Dorma' I had down pat.

As everyone found their opening set, I stood up on the podium and observed. It felt so odd not to be marking off from yard lines and finding hash lines, to just be watching the organized chaos happening on the field.

Flipping to my drill charts, I made sure that everyone was getting to the right spot. Leadership and upperclassmen were helping freshman and other rookies find their dots. Confusion was etched on some faces, and then understanding would dawn on a few faces, while others conversed with section leaders to figure out how exactly you read this thing called coordinates.

Jacob was helping a freshman in his section find his spot, completing the arc that would begin the show. Megan was yawning on her dot, and I laughed a little to myself. She probably hadn't gone to bed quiet as early as I had, and now she was feeling it. But she was always the one at the end of the two weeks who would have huge circles under sleep deprived eyes, which contrasted oddly with the huge grin she would have on her face. She had survived two years thus far, she would survive now. I was worried a little bit about the freshman, but then again, telling them to go to bed earlier wouldn't do anything. They would have to live and learn.

The morning progressed quickly. Before any more sets were put down, the basics of marching were taught. The sun climbed higher in the sky, a breeze refused to blow, clouds covered everywhere but the practice field, and the tenors tried to catch the sunlight in the underside of their drums and blind Matt and me. We laughed, pulled sunglasses over our eyes, and tried not to look at the back of the field.

Each set went pretty well, and we tried running it all the way through several times closer to the end. We put down 4 sets before lining up in parade block and marching down to lunch. We released by class, calling the seniors first, then the juniors, and so on and so forth. I remembered having to hold attention last year, the sun hot and brutal, beads of sweat rolling from places you didn't think could sweat. There was never a breeze when you stood at attention, ever. No matter how much you willed it, and the drum majors were the only people who could move. Everyone envied them, and I felt a pang of pity for Jacob and Megan, having to stand still in the baking sun while I could move freely.

Once everyone had gotten called, we went inside for lunch. My parents, and every other adult in the world, always said that breakfast was the most important meal of the day. Not at band camp. At band camp, lunch was the most important meal of the day. Breakfast gave you fuel for the morning, true, but lunch was the longest meal, it had the most options, and you were the hungriest before it, so it tasted better. They also had dessert, and every year without fail they had some delicious type of brownie, pie, or cake that was mouthwatering. Forget healthy food, it's not like you could gain weight at band camp.

Sectionals were after lunch, and Matt and I had one with Mr. Sacket. We would work on music, probably the last show piece some for me, maybe some stands tunes for when the season started, or just practice the entire show all the way through. No one was really sure why the drum major's had sectionals, since we already knew all the music by the time band camp started. We always chalked it up to practice, which according to Mr. Sacket you could never have too much of.

That was all we did, too. We ran the show, start to finish without stopping several times, made sure our hands were always in the right place, cues were on time, and crescendo's held to full value. Everything was review, but it still would help when we performed it at the end of camp. We filmed every performance, and on the first day of school would have to watch it. Nobody wanted to mess up on camera.

When sectionals were over I headed back to my dorm. Megan was already there, getting out of the shower. The Saxes were known to end sectionals early, so it wasn't that surprising to find her already there. She smiled at me as I pulled my shoes off and collapsed onto the bed.

"How has your day been so far?" I propped myself up on my elbows and put my sunglasses on the side table next to the bed.

"Pretty good, although we did nothing in practice but review, review, review. Does Mr. Sacket realize that we already know the whole show? I was grateful for the time we spent on 'CS', but besides that, it was pretty basic. How was your sectional?" She immediately launched into how it had been, what music they worked on, and how she was sure this year she would be the first to memorize all her music, from her section at least.

My phone buzzed as she was talking about the dance the Saxes were going to do in the talent show. I had a message from Jacob, saying that if we wanted to practice our piece for the talent show, the auditorium was open. We sang together every year, and I played the piano. My freshman year we hadn't done anything, but last year we'd performed 'Good Life' by OneRepublic, and this year we were going to do 'Payphone' by Maroon 5. I hadn't told Megan about it because I knew she'd be upset. I was singing a song, a relationship song, with the boy I liked but wasn't dating. It would drive her nuts when we performed, but at least I would get some silence now.

Putting on some flip flops and combing my hair, I went down to the auditorium. The curse of playing something on piano was that the only time we could practice was when we had permission to use what they called 'Building E', E for entertainment, and it held several rooms where you could have get-togethers (never parties, according to the College Board) along with the auditorium. Jacob and I spent the next hour of our two hour break practicing. The talent show was tomorrow, and every act was required to perform in the auditorium at least once before then, to get a feel for the venue and everything.

I took a nap for a half hour, took another shower, and then went back down for evening practice. Matt was already waiting, listening to the show music from his iPod as he practiced with his folder. Mr. Sacket was reading the same book I had seen him with this morning, and I spotted another girl, either a freshman or a sophomore, with a KindleFire reading. I hadn't brought anything to occupy myself with for the next ten minutes, so I went over to the girl. Mr. Sacket had said that we should try to talk to every member of the band at least once this semester, so I should probably start now.

"Hi," I said, sitting down next to her. She glanced at me, as if surprised that I was speaking to her, and bookmarked her page before turning the Kindle off.

"Hi," she replied, slightly awkwardly, crossing her legs for something to do. I never thought as drum major that I'd come off as lofty, but I suppose to underclassmen it was bound to happen.

"What instrument do you play?" I guess the best way to talk to her would be to go through the obvious band questions. She held up her folder.

"Bass clarinet, I'm the only girl and the only sophomore." Okay, that got the grade level question out of the way. Our bass clarinets were few, with only five in the section- two seniors, two juniors, and apparently one sophomore. No freshman had come in this year.

"The only girl, that couldn't be terribly fun." She shrugged, as if she had gotten used to it. I vaguely remembered seeing a small girl last year that looked a little like her, marching about five yards from where I was with a bass clarinet. Maybe that was her.

"Well, I play clarinet, I think I saw you last year. What's your name?" People were starting to come down the stairs, and someone with a wrapped ankle stepped off the elevator. She looked grateful that the rest of humanity was finally joining us.

"I'm Madison, and you're Nicole, right?" I nodded. She probably remembered me from the few times the bass clarinets and clarinets had hung out together. "I auditioned for drum major too, but I was so happy when you got it. We all were watching through the door, you did great. I knew you'd make it." Surprise jolted through me. She had auditioned for drum major? How did I not remember? Only a handful of people came to every lesson, and at the end someone had made chocolate S'mores cupcakes...

"You were the one who made us all get a sugar high from the cupcakes you brought." She laughed a little before nodding.

"I thought people would like them, and I never did mean to put that much sugar in them. My little sister poured extra in when I was heating up the oven and had my back turned." I grinned. No one could ever remember this girl's name, probably because she was from such a small section. I said goodbye to her and headed out as Mr. Sacket called for us.

Evening practice was barely cooler than the morning had been, and people were still tired. We filed up for dinner, then back down again for night practice. Instrument cases were laid in the shade of trees to protect them from the ever present sun, and still more sunscreen and bug spray was applied. We marched and played until 8 o'clock, then were told to go back to our dorms. Lights out was always at 10, but I would be asleep way before then.

Megan wasn't in the dorm when I got there, so I hopped in the shower. When I got out, she was there, all smiles, with a bouquet of lilies sitting in a vase on her side table. I raised my eyebrow at her, and she pulled me onto her bed, eyes blazing as she recounted the story.

She'd had a crush on Travis, one of the snare drum players, for several weeks. There was rumour going around that he might ask her out, and apparently, he had. The drumline had played a drum roll, and he'd pulled her over as everyone was going off the field and asked her. Of course she had said yes, he'd given her flowers, and now they were an item.

As happy as I was for Megan, I also felt a pang of jealousy. Here, she'd only had a crush on this boy for a few weeks and now they were a thing. I'd liked Jacob for years now, and he was dating another girl. Another, much prettier girl, that I knew made him happy and that they had fun together. Why did I have to be the one with the love triangle? I'd vowed, the first time I read 'Twilight' that I would never let myself get involved in one. But here I was, liking a boy who was dating someone else, my poor heart cracking a little more each time I saw them together. But Courtney and I had been friends once, and although we'd grown apart, we still liked each other. Megan had none of these problems, and no one had objected to her and Travis becoming a thing. I smiled with her, congratulated her, then said I was tired and crawled under the sheets. In a pathetic sort of way, I wanted to cry. But, as I'd once heard Fergie sing, 'Big Girl's Don't Cry'. And I was junior in high school, sharing a room with someone else. There would be no tears tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

I ran harder than I usually did the next morning. Maybe it was because I didn't want to think, or I wanted to feel something beside the dread of seeing Jacob and Courtney, or the jealousy between Megan and I. So my feet pounded against the pavement far ahead of Ms. Boyden, and the mist of the morning, that was always present in the mountains, clung to my hoodie and dampened my face.

I was sweaty and damp when I got back to the dorm, and the shower felt good. Megan was up by the time I came out, watering her vase of flowers before she took over the bathroom, taking an extra half hour to primp herself up for her new beau. I knew her parents knew, that she'd squealed last night on the phone to them, trying to whisper while I fell asleep. She was the type that told her parents everything, and her family was really close.

Another reason to envy her. My parents loved, me, I knew that much, but we didn't really spend a lot of 'family time' together. Megan, her brother, and her parents always did something, even if it wasn't that much- they went to the West Side Market a lot, or to a state fair. Every Sunday they had a big meal, with her parents cooking and Megan and Shaun making dessert before their grandparents came over.

My family, we were a little different. I was an only child first of all, and my parents both worked full time. My dad was a doctor, my mother was a lawyer, which added up to us not seeing each other a lot because of work schedules. I knew how to cook because sometimes I made myself dinner and ate by myself with my dog Midas. On weekends they usually went up to our cabin on Lake Erie, taking me and Midas too on long weekends. If it wasn't a long weekend, I was left home alone, and I only saw my grandparents over summer and winter break when we flew to China.

Either way, whenever I went to Megan's house, I was always welcome as if part of the family. It still surprised me that they ate dinner together every night, no exceptions, and hung out together so much. I vowed that whenever I had a family, we'd be like Megan's.

I shook my head to clear all the thoughts of family out. My family was here, the band was my family, and surprisingly we were closer than my actual one. Still, I jogged down the stairs to join the other leadership waiting for the sections to arouse from sleep and pull themselves into our meeting area before breakfast.

It took some time, but eventually everyone was there and we went to the breakfast hall. I couldn't have been more grateful that there was a coffee machine near every food line, and I had 2 cups before going to stretches.

Faithfully, we did arm circles again, and our other stretches, and then we marched down to the field. It was amazing how excited some of the freshman were. Only the second day and they were thrilled to run out and set new drill. I smiled at them and went to my podium.

More drill was set, with a light cloud covering on and off that everyone was immensely grateful for. The Batterie instructor had lectured the tenors on blinding us, even though Matt and I had never really voiced a complaint. Marching was better than yesterday; everybody had probably worked on it during sectionals. I watched Matt on anything I wasn't sure about, and we didn't do too badly.

Lunch came eventually, and after we'd released everyone from attention torture, the meal was great. The whole band was starving, as we always were around lunch, and I saw at least half the band get up for seconds and even thirds before getting multiple desserts. No one bothered counting calories or bothering about weight over band camp. My freshman year I had seconds at literally every meal and dessert at lunch and dinner, and when I got home and my parents took my for a physical, I'd lost weight. They'd been beyond concerned, and hadn't really understood about how food works at band camp. Now, though, they knew about the fluctuation of weight and had gotten used to it.

Sectionals, where we conducted until our arms were sore, went well. We spent the majority of our time on 'CS', which helped me a lot, and Matt remained, as he always was, indifferent. At the very end we worked on two stands tunes, 'Louie Louie' and 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough'. It was fun, and we were all laughing by the end of sectionals when we went back to our dorms.

Megan wasn't there, which didn't surprise me. She was probably off with Travis, being all lovey-dovey. I lay down on the bed, tired, and plugged my iPod in to listen to some music. I flipped through all the recordings I had of Jacob and me, the funny videos of Megan, Kayla, and Emily me dancing, until I got to my section for actual music. I had a separate folder for marching music, which sometimes got larger than my other music when I uploaded show tunes.

After a few minutes of lying down, I went and met up with Jacob to practice again. It felt nice to have my fingers on the ebony and ivory keys, to be making music instead of conducting it. I loved being drum major, but it felt nice to play something now.

After playing through the song a few times, Jacob cleared his throat and said he didn't want to sing too much so his voice would still be good for tomorrow. I nodded and let the last note ring out before sliding my hands off the keys.

"How have you been Nicole? Now that you're drum major, do you like it better?" I smiled and crossed my legs, balancing precariously on the narrow piano bench.

"I've been good. Being drum major is so much fun, you have no idea. How's your baritone section going, since you're section leader and everything?" He grinned and thought about how response for a second.

"The baritone's have always been tight, and we still are. The Saturday before school starts, they're all coming over to have a barbecue. Since there's one girl in the section, I can't have them over all night. She's a freshman and everything, it'd freak her out and her parents would never let her." I nodded and laughed a little.

"Well I hope you all have fun. The clarinets were friendly to each other, but we had anywhere from 20 to 30 people, so it's not like we could be that close. You've got a section of 7, you're defiantly closer. Aren't you all in a bromance or something?" He laughed and shoved my shoulder lightly. It wasn't meant to do any damage, but since I was balanced so carefully I fell off and crashed to the floor. My left elbow took most of my weight, and it crashed at an odd angle against the floor, making me wince and gasp sharply. Jacob was next to me instantly, muttering apologies and pulling me to my feet, one arm around my waist, the other around my shoulder.

"Jacob I'm fine, really. You don't need to worry; I knew you were only teasing." Still, he demanded that I give myself a good once over to make sure I was alright. My elbow hurt and would probably be bruised in the morning, but besides that I was fine. It wasn't going to affect me that much, just make me even sorer. After conducting for almost two day's straight, I could feel it in my muscles, and Matt had told me that by the end of the week, putting my arms up was going to be torture. Still, a little bit more soreness wasn't going to kill me.

I went back up to my dorm and found Megan, texting her brother excitedly. He had moved into his college campus already, and I knew that him being away wouldn't affect their relationship too much. I smiled as she filled me in on her sectional time, when they saw two dragonflies that kept buzzing in front of the window, very clearly mating. And how Shaun had run into a high in the sky guy when he was moving in, who offered him a joint. I laughed and shook my head. Shaun was too smart to get involved in any of that, everybody knew that much, so we could all laugh at his first run-in with a stoner.

I took a quick shower before going back down for evening practice. Matt was there in his Ohio State cap again, and I nodded to Madison, who was standing against the wall reading her Kindle. She smiled in return before focusing once more. Mr. Sacket was sitting on a bench with his book. I never thought that a band director would like James Patterson, but this man devoured every one of his books. He said his wife never had a problem shopping for him, because she always knew what to buy him.

A student one year had been in the same bookstore as James Patterson as he was doing a book signing. 'I, Michael Bennett' had just come out, so the student bought it for him, waiting in line for two hours, and got the author to sign it for him to his band director, Mr. Alan Sacket. They'd saved it for him until Christmas break, and then had wrapped it and given it to him with the explicit orders not to open it until the day after Christmas. (We all knew that if he opened it Christmas Day, he wouldn't spend time with his family, he'd get too engrossed.) The day after Christmas, the student received a very happy phone call from him, and it wasn't surprising when they found him rereading in January, having finished it over the break.

Now, he was reading another James Patterson novel, 'Zoo', and I said his name twice before he realized someone was talking to him. We chatted for a few minutes before he began to get impatient and I let him get back to his book. Matt laughed behind his teeth and came over to me, grinning.

"Yeah, I learned last year to not even attempt to talk to him when he's reading. The man's a band director; we all know he's a nerd. But few know he's a horror novel nerd, not just a music one. But, since we come here for two weeks, some people figure it out. Others don't pay enough attention. Either way, when you live with someone for two weeks, you get to know them. Sometimes too well." I laughed at his joke and we ushered the band outside.

It was slightly cooler, which was a blessing, although the bugs landed on us nonstop and I sprayed myself down during every break. We set more drill before heading up to dinner, and reapplied bugs spray once we were down on the field again. Again, we marched until 8, then went back up for a free evening. Tomorrow, the talent show would begin at 8:30, and Jacob and I would have to get there at 8:15 since we were one of the acts. Tonight, though, I took a shower and went straight to bed. Megan hadn't even gotten back yet, since we had free time until 10. It didn't matter to me though, I was tired, and who knows when we would get back from the talent show tomorrow. I was going to sleep while I could, and enjoy it while it lasted.


	4. Chapter 4

The talent show finally came around, and everyone was excited. The freshman because they'd never experienced something like this before, the sophomores because they knew what to expect, the juniors because they had friends in the show, and the seniors because it would be their last. Most people bought the show on DVD, although most purchases were from seniors. It was pretty hilarious, too, and anybody who did anything embarrassing was pretty much screwed for life because they could be blackmailed from that DVD. And everybody knew it too. Yet every year, some section never failed to do something funny and embarrassing, and when we received our DVD's we always re-watched it, gasping for breath from laughing so hard. One year, however, someone did copy and paste the trumpet section dancing and put it on YouTube. They were not happy. Although, they got a lot of views, and most people figured out it was just to joke around. Still, they were not happy people. (If you can call trumpets people, that is.)

This year, however, Matt had decided to be funny. Last year, with two male drum majors, they hadn't done anything since neither had really been talented. This year, though, with a male and female drum major, Mr. Sacket had urged us both to do something, preferably funny, with a silly, romantic song in the background. He said it would make us approachable, nice looking, all that stuff. Matt was unsure about the idea, but I thought it would be pretty funny. Not to mention since neither of us was in a relationship, it wouldn't matter that much.

I was put in charge of finding a song, with Mr. Sacket and Matt holding veto power. My first suggestion was 'Baby' by Justin Bieber. A denial from Matt and Mr. Sacket. Next I thought of 'Hey Mickey' by Toni Basil. Matt was okay with it, but Mr. Sacket wanted something a little more current. Finally, by two weeks before band camp, I had thought of a song that was perfect. 'Call Me Maybe' was voted brilliant by Mr. Sacket, and although Matt didn't like it, he got a glare from the director when he tried to protest. So, we had gotten together something and now, we would have the most hilarious act of the show.

_His man card is going to be gone by the end of this,_ I couldn't help but think. He wouldn't be happy with me for coning him into this, but that didn't matter. The payout would be worth it. And everybody would laugh and everything, which couldn't be a bad thing, right?

We waited in the wings for our act to come on, my grin growing, Matt getting nervous. He wasn't nervous about performing, no, we both knew that much. He was nervous because he wasn't used to embarrassing himself, and he knew how bad a shape his man card was going to be in. I grinned slyly at him and graced onto the stage as our act was announced.

They hated me. I had never seen hate from either of them- displeasure, yes, misunderstanding, of course, but hatred, never. Matt hated me because his man card was now in tatters from dancing to 'Call Me Maybe', which someone would surely use to blackmail him at some point in his life. Jacob hated me because I had just danced with another boy to a romantic song. Matt shoved me lightly when we got backstage, jokingly of course, and said he was never doing that again. Jacob's eyes screamed betrayal and hurt, but he turned and went into a small back room to warm up before we went out and sang. I crept into the room behind him, afraid to follow him and afraid to leave him alone.

"Why did you do that, Nicole?" It scared me how calm and quiet his voice was. Slowly, I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, leaning my head against the flat plane of his back.

"I didn't mean to get you angrey, it was just a funny little dance thing. Don't be mad. Besides," the tone of my voice changed from apologetic to accusational. "How can you be mad at me for dancing with a boy while you're dating another girl?" He turned around, and without another word, left the room.

We sang fifteen minutes later, and although we sounded good to the audience, there was very little emotion behind the song. As we both got up from the piano bench, he whispered to me.

"Meet me in my room after the show." I nodded at him, puzzled. We weren't allowed in opposite gender rooms, but we really did need to talk in private. Before all the drama started with asked me out, we never fought, but now... Hopefully, talking some tonight would clear this entire thing up. We really needed to get it all sorted out, for both our sanity. Or what little sanity we had left.

We got out at 9:45, so technically we still had 15 minutes of free time. I snuck onto the boys' hall before a chaperone got there, although how I was supposed to walk off the hallway was going to be interesting. Maybe I could climb out a window- we were on the ground floor, since it was the senior boys' hallway.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you, it was uncalled for. I'm being really overprotective and everything, even though we're not dating. I'm so sorry." His quick apology was surprising but pleasing. At least we wouldn't be arguing about who was wrong and who was right. Even though he had just blurted that out, though, he still shifted from foot to foot, as if there was something else to say or do.

I found out what that was in the next few seconds. Without warning, he leaned forward and captured my lips in his in a passionate kiss. Unexpected, but incredible, and I almost instantly melt into his arms before realizing where we are and what's happening.

"No, no, Jacob I can't do this, _we_ can't do this. You and Courtney are together, and happy, and I... I can't be a side-dish. I'm sorry, I can't, I won't, no..." Everything that comes out of my mouth is running together, blubbered.

He wraps his arms around me, trying to calm me down. I'm shaking a little bit, and I don't let him get to close. He presses his forehead to mine and he whispers the words I always wanted to hear him say. "Nicole, you're one in a million. Yeah, I like Courtney, but she's not you. You're parents said no, well, I've got an offer." He stops for a second, as if thinking about what he's about to say. I squeeze the hand that he's just twisted with mine, and he keeps going. "When you graduate, we'll be together. I promise, cross my heart." Everything I'd assumed was now reality, and a humongous grin burst onto my face. Even though it was wrong, I leaned forward and kissed him again, and it just felt so _right, _no matter how wrong it truly was. We broke apart quickly when we heard chaperons on their way down the hallway.

Jacob ran to the window and pushed it open, and I climbed out, both of us laughing quietly to mask the seriousness of the situation. If I was found in his room, there was no telling what would happen. We might just get a lecture since we weren't caught in the act, or we could be thrown off of leadership because I was a girl and he was a boy and those were very different things. Plus, consequences at band camp were always greater.

He snapped the window shut as soon as I was out, and I snuck around to the main entrance. They couldn't be upset at me for going outside during free time, so when I came in, no one gave me a passing glance. A chaperone said it was almost 10, so I nodded and ran up a flight of steps to my room. I'd never used the elevators here, since we only had five floors. What was the point?

Megan wasn't in our room yet, so I popped in the shower for five minutes, and when I came out she was there. All grins and smiles, of course, since she was in love, and leaning over her beautiful lilies. I smiled tiredly at her, even though I wanted to grab her hand, squeal, jump up and down, and tell her everything that had happened between Jacob and me.

I couldn't, though, and I didn't. Lying down and turning off the light, we both went to sleep. In truth, though, I stayed up thinking for a bit. If I had told her, even though she was my very best friend, other people could still find out. Suppose she told Emily, another of our friends, whom she thought we could trust? Emily was great, but the flutes had sleepovers a lot where they spilled _everything_. And if Courtney ever found out that her boyfriend had kissed me, that would not end well. Mr. Sacket wouldn't be happy, because I was supposed to hold up good moral values, and kissing someone who was dating someone else didn't really do that. Courtney and I wouldn't be friends anymore, although we were distant friends now. But even as distant friends I didn't want her to get hurt. And the band, if the band found out I'd either lose the respect of everyone, gain the admiration of girls who had done likewise as I just had, or be hated by everyone who had ever been cheated on. Some people might also think I was a slut, or a whore or something, but that pretty much fell into the category of everyone losing respect for me.

So it's a secret. There are two types of secrets in the Karlin Leprechaun Marching Band. Either Mr. Sacket knows everything about the subject, or we're all trying to keep it from him. In this case, with Jacob and me, it would be that we're all trying to keep it from him. He wouldn't be happy, he doesn't like drama in his band, and he's not very good at dealing with it when it comes up. He usually leaves that messy business to leadership.

However, this 'messy business' will be left between Jacob and me. We'll work out the kinks, just as we have for years. It's what friends do, and when it's all said and done, we'll be happy. We'll be ever so happy.

As long as I don't think about Courtney getting her heartbroken, and about my parents being furious the day of my 18th birthday when I say I'm dating Jacob. As long as I don't think of the implications, which I'll face someday, but not tonight. Tonight, tonight is for dreaming about the wonderful reality that cannot come soon enough, about the words I heard from his mouth I thought he'd never say. And for dreaming of those breathtakingly forbidden kisses.


	5. Chapter 5

I looked at Jacob differently the next day, and for the rest of band camp. It was a routine, the rest of the week and next. We rose early, worked all day, went to bed too late, and again rose too early to continue the cycle.

The night before our last day of band camp, we had a dance. It was held in Building E, just like the Talent Show, and our photographer played DJ. Every year, this was probably one of the crowning things at the end of band camp. Well, the dance and our performance the next day, to show off how much you could learn in 2 weeks.

Night practice was slightly out of hand, since everyone was excited to go to the dance. We ended a little early, at 7:45 instead of 8 so we could all go to shower and change, and then go to the dance at 8:15.

I took a shower, pulled my hair back and twisted it up along my head, then put on jeans and a red shirt. My personal opinion was that I looked good in red, since it went well with my black hair, brown eyes, and tan skin. No one had ever told me I looked good in it, but wasn't a girl aloud to think things like that once in a while?

When I arrived at the dance, half the band was already there. Megan came the same time as I did so we could be sure to lock the room up, and off we went. It was always fun, and this year they put strobe lights on instead of just a disco ball in the center of the dance floor. They played the recent hits, from One Direction, Train, and Maroon5, and some older ones by Michael Jackson. With those blasting our ear drums off, we all danced the night away. Somebody put on 'Call Me Maybe', and I pulled Matt with me to the dance floor. Grudgingly, he let me pull him onto the floor and we danced again. This time, people whipped phones out. Matt grimaced, but there was a banner with the sole rule of band camp written on it across the stage. 'What happens at band camp stays at band camp.' They were filming it, true, but they wouldn't post it, at least probably not. If they did, I wouldn't be there when Matt hunted them down for punishment.

Jacob and Courtney started grinding each other in the center of the floor, where the chaperones couldn't see. Envious, I looked away. Matt was conveniently in the corner by himself, so I scuttled over and bumped into his arm.

"Hey," was all I said, and he glanced at me. For once, I was glad that this shirt was a little shorter in the front. I leaned back against the wall, and a bit of my abdomen peeked out.

"Oh, um, hey Nicole." His eyes wandered just like I wanted them to. They trailed down, paused for a second near my hips, and then slowly climbed back up. I grinned at him.

"You want to dance?" He cocked his head at me, as if judging my meaning. My smile remained, becoming slightly suggestive.

Pulling me on to the dance floor, he almost instantly put his hands on my hips and turned me around. Then he grabbed my rear and pulled it into him. I'd never grinded anybody before, but did that really matter? He seemed to be an expert, and his breath was hot on my ear as he guided my hips to push back into him, hands under my shirt and chin resting on my shoulder next to my face.

When the song ended, we parted ways. Thankful that he wasn't the type of boy to get too attached over physical things, we both just walked away. The silent agreement was that this probably wouldn't be brought up again.

The dance ended a little bit after that, and I conveniently avoided Jacob until then. If he'd seen, he might be upset. I thought we'd gotten over our fighting thing. Especially since he had promised that we'd be together, just not right away. Which gave me no right to do what I had just done with Matt.

A few minutes after I'd gotten back into my room, my phone buzzed. I didn't even have to look at the name to know who it was from.

Jacob: WTF!?

Nicole: dont curse; you know i don't like it.

Jacob: shut up! i knew u & matt were 2gether. u didnt have 2 lie about it

Nicole: we rnt 2gether

Jacob: so wut was that 2nite?

Nicole: 'envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation...'- Elizabeth O'Conner

Jacob: R u saying i don't appreciate u

Nicole: i saw u & courtney

Jacob: were dating; u & matt rnt

Nicole: ur point

Jacob: pple r gonna say ur a slut

Nicole: IS IT WRONG TO WANT TO FEEL LOVED?

After that I turned my phone off. It was true, I just wanted to feel like someone cared for me the way Jacob cared for Courtney. Yeah, it was wrong to go to Matt and use him, even though he didn't mind. It was wrong to hurt Jacob and myself in the process of trying to get back at him for dating someone else. Tomorrow, the ride home was going to be horribly awkward. That was the last thing I thought before I drifted off to sleep.

We had to wake up even earlier for our last day. Because our parents were coming to watch us, we had to eat, stretch, warm up, run the show, and then get to the main stadium by nine. This meant waking up a half hour early. It was the one day I didn't go running, although I wish I could have, so I could have had some private time to think.

Even though no one wanted to be awake, we dutifully ran through everything. Breakfast, today, was last. They gave us a snack beforehand, then gave us breakfast before we marched the show for the audience. So at our final meal of band camp, Jacob hunted me down while Courtney was in the bathroom.

"So are you and Matt going to be an item or what?" _Well that's a great way to start off a conversation._ I glanced up from my plate and swallowed loudly before answering.

"No, it was more of a one-time thing. How about we just forget about it?" Shrugging, he nodded. After our rather interesting conversation last night, he seemed to be trying to be a bit more passive with me. Still, I felt guilty, and I put down my fork and looked him square in the eye. My voice lowered so no one would hear but him.

"Listen, I'm sorry okay? I just got really jealous. And I know it was wrong, because you promised and everything, but... I got upset." He wrapped his hand around mine and smiled, and in that moment, all was forgiven. Hopefully this would be the final argument and final apology of the season. I wouldn't be able to deal with all of this drama once school started. Keeping my grades up, doing jazz band on Mondays and pep band on Wednesdays was not going to be easy, plus band practice on Tuesday and Thursday with football games on Friday. But somehow, hopefully, I'd be able to work this entire thing out.

When we performed, I didn't bother scanning the crowd to look for my parents. I knew they wouldn't be there, which was expected but still disappointing. They'd never come, and just because I was drum major didn't mean they would come this time. I saw Megan's parents though, and they waved at me just like they waved at her. What I would give to switch families.

Matt conducted 'Ruslan and Ludmilla' and 'CS', which were the opener and closer songs. I got the middle song, 'Nessun Dorma'. This meant we had to change podiums twice, which was rather annoying, but it would be okay. Since he was head drum major, he got to pick which songs he conducted anyway. If he wanted the opener and closer, who was I to object?

All things considered, it didn't go terribly. There were plenty of lines and diagonals that weren't dressed, and dots that weren't hit. I messed up at the end of 'CS', which was a little embarrassing. But we were all human, and prone to mistakes.

Jacob and I packed up and left after that. Megan kissed my cheek and we promised the same thing we always did: that we'd room together the next year. Like one of us would, could, live with someone else for two weeks.

Although I had planned to talk with Jacob on the ride back, I ended up falling asleep. He didn't seem to mind though. If I could sleep on a band bus, I could sleep easily in a car, especially a quite one.

He woke me up when we pulled into my house in North Royalton. His house was about 15 minutes from mine in Strongsville, and both of us were twenty minutes from the school. It was about two o'clock in the afternoon, so my parents were home. They smiled when I opened the door and my Dad got my bag from Jacob's car.

"Nicole, you're back! How was camp?" My mother gave me a short hug and nodded to Jacob, who was standing in the doorway.

"It was great. I wish you could have come to the show today, it went pretty well for our first performance." She smiled tightly at me, and luckily my dad came in the door.

"We're glad your back, Nikki. The house is too quiet when you're gone." I made a face at my nickname and shrugged. Dad turned to Jacob.

"It was nice of you to drive her there and back, thanks so much. Here's some money for gas." He pulled a $100 bill from his pocket, and Jacob looking at it for a second before giving me a hug and leaving. It got too awkward with my parents and us in the room.

I went to my room as soon as I could pull away from my parents. They were Skyping with my grandparents in China anyway. Unpacking went pretty quickly since I just put everything in the washing machine, poured some detergent in, put everything with warm water, and hit start.

Even though I slept in the car for two hours, I was still tired, and went to take a nap. My mom had come in and cleaned while I was gone, which was annoying. But at least I wouldn't have to do it now. Either way, I was tired. And even though my sheets smelled like detergent, at least it didn't smell the floor wax from Allegheny.


	6. Chapter 6

My parents let me sleep until I woke up the next day. They left with a note on the fridge that Dad had gone golfing and Mom had gone shopping, that everything should be fine and to get my clothes out of the washing machine before they got home.

It was Saturday, and school started Monday. My mother was probably out getting my school supplies. Band people never went to Open House, which was the Friday we were still in Pennsylvania performing. However, our parents went, explained, and got lists of school supplies. She was probably getting me clothes too- 'appropriate' clothes. Apparently a closet full of band shirts and jeans wasn't good enough. I had normal clothes too- they just didn't fit her standards, so she bought me new ones. I'd give them to Megan, like I always did. She'd come over for a sleepover with her stuff in a tote bag. Only, the tote would be empty, I'd stuff my unwanted clothes in there, and she'd leave the next morning with a new wardrobe, both of us happier. As long as my mother didn't find out.

I made myself chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and turned on the television. We didn't have TV's in the dorms on campus, so I had DVR'd 'The Big Bang Theory', '90210', and 'American Idol'.

Content with playing catch-up on my favourite shows, my mother came in laden with bags. I rushed to the door to help her, and she smiled at me in thanks.

"You'd better use all of this stuff, or else I'm going to be very upset at your teachers. Half the stuff- like the paper towels and hand sanitizer- I already dropped off at the school. But here are binders and paper and all that new stuff that you'll need and soon destroy." I laughed with her and started to put things in my backpack. I was still in my pajamas, while she was in a nice pair of slacks and light coat. Apparently, even in August, it was a little chilly out. Even though I had on a t-shirt (it said "Sleep All Day" on the front and "Sleep All Night" on the back) and white Soffe shorts, I wasn't cold. My mother eyes me doubtfully.

"We should go shopping before school starts." Ugh, not this again. Every year it was the same thing. But this year, with Jacob and Courtney, maybe...

"What if I say yes Mom?" She looked up with hope. I was her stubborn daughter that she was trying to turn into a lady. This would be a major victory in her battle.

"Oh Nicole we'd have so much fun, and some good mother daughter time too. Topshop has a store based out of the US, and then we can see about Aeropostale and Abercrombie & Fitch..." She droned on as I packed up my bag. This would be way too much fun for her. But if it helped Jacob notice me, I'd let her have her fun, if only this once.

Never, in a million years, did I think shopping could take _that long_. But I was sufficiently armed with a fabulous new wardrobe. Since I gave in to my mother's desires, she let me pick a few things that I actually liked. Then she went around picking all the stylish and pretty things. We lugged the bags up to my closet and put them on hangers. Mom insisted on organizing them by colour.

While we were out, she'd asked me question after question. But one she got stuck on was, "What are you going to where on the first day of school?" I didn't know, so she'd gone into a panic and we'd searched and searched until finding something we could both agree on.

We'd come across a deep blue paisley lace peplum tee that we'd both swooned over. Paired with nude jeans, it made a really cute outfit. I'd snuck lace socks into the pile, which I thought were cute, and Mom had glared at me but smiled at the check-out clerk. It was worth it, and hey, she wanted me to buy things.

The week sped by, catching up on sleep and finishing summer reading. Then, on a cursed Sunday night, I found myself dreading the next morning. School: waking up early, homework, drama with friends, cramming for tests, working for hours on projects. Why didn't I quite school when I turned 16? Right, because I was Asian and had to be perfect and get a PhD in something, which required finishing high school. I called up Megan, hoping she could calm my cold feet about the new school year.

"Hey Megan, can you believe school starts tomorrow?" I heard her sigh on the other phone, and then her voice came from a distance, as if on speaker.

"I know, it's hard to believe, right? I'm searching for something to wear. Do you think that teal shirt from that you gave me over the summer would look okay? I have white jeans that I think would look pretty cute with it. What do you think?" I laughed a little. Why she was asking me for fashion advice, I had no clue. She was the stylish one, not me.

"I suppose that would be fine. You got that new necklace for your birthday just a few weeks ago, wear that. And don't worry; no matter what you wear you'll look cute." I could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke next.

"Thanks Nicole. I assume you either already have your outfit or you're just not going to worry about it until the morning. Please worry now, you can't bomb the first day." I laughed.

"Don't worry, I have something, and it's acceptable. My mother cleared it, so trust me. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? What locker number do you have, so we can meet up? I'm number 336."

"I have 227. If we can't meet at our lockers, we'll see each other in the band room to compare schedules. They really should change open house so we can run through where our classes our, but they won't. Anyway, I'll see you in the morning. You're driving, right?" I squealed and confirmed it before hanging up. I'd gotten my own car last year, which had been awesome. Megan would be riding with Travis, and I'd be alone, which I was okay with.

I woke up in the morning, tired from the early rise, and dreading the 180 days to come. _Why, cruel world, did school last so long and for so many days?_ Mom came up to pull me out of bed before she left for work, saying there was bacon simmering in a pan downstairs. That would wake me up so I wouldn't burn my breakfast. I groaned and abandoned my mound of pillows and blankets. Wrapping a robe around me and pulling slippers on, I went downstairs, kissed my mother goodbye, and ate breakfast. Then it was back up to my bedroom to get ready, and I left soon after.

The school lot wasn't crowded when I got there, probably since I arrived half an hour early. I knew Mr. Sacket would be there and have the band room unlocked, so after figuring out where my classes were, I headed down.

He was there, a mug of steaming coffee on his desk and music strewn around his office. The band room actually looked (gasp) clean for once. It would stay that way, as I remembered it in May of last year.

"Hey Mr. Sacket," I greeted him, and he looked up and nodded before digging through another mound of music. The floor was covered, with little spots of floor showing so he could hop to the door if need be. I shook my head and left. If he had that much music out, he would prefer to be left alone in his little bubble.

Megan and Travis arrived a few minutes later, as people started to trickle in. I hugged her and greeted him cordially. She looked cute, and I hoped I did to. Jacob and Courtney walked in holding hands and he glanced at me with a wave before turning his attention back to her. She waved to as they made their way to the Guard Room. Megan glared at her perfect red curls, and Travis put her arm around her, leaning in to our little group.

"I bet he's only dating her for the sex. Everybody knows he's smarter than her, and once he graduates, he'll find somebody better at college, who will give him sex _and _who's smart. Courtney's not dumb, but she's in Accelerated classes, not Gifted and AP like he is. His lowest class is Honours Language Arts because he sucks at grammar. Right now, though, he's just going with her for the sex."

And that was how my first day of junior year came tumbling down.


	7. Chapter 7

The day turned into a blur after that. It seemed as though some sort of fog had descended over my brain and emotions, and it refused to let go. Of course I refused to cry, and what surprised me most was that I wasn't even mad.

More than anything, I was sad, and hurt, deeply hurt. I suppose I had always assumed that he had saved himself for me- especially after our talk at band camp. Was there something in the male mind that programmed them to just crave sex, and not care at all about who it was with or what the consequences were?

Meeting the teachers, conducting in band class, nothing penetrated the mist in my mind. At lunch, I sat with Megan and our friends, and the conversation hopped around uninteresting subjects. When we had about fifteen minutes left, Travis got up to go to the bathroom, and I followed him. When he came out a few minutes later, I pinned him to the wall as best I could.

"Tell me how you _know_ he's doing that." Confusion etched across his face and into his eyes. Clearly, he had forgotten this morning's conversation. Well, I defiantly hadn't. "About Jacob and Courtney, you know…" Finally, comprehension dawned, and he raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know why you care so much, but he told me. A few months ago we were chilling at my house and he brought up about how he got laid the night before." Despair seeped through my veins. "He said out of all the girlfriends he had, she had been the best so far. He's only had three girlfriends, though."

"He slept with _all _of them, every last one, at least once?" If a girl did that, she'd be called a whore, or a slut. But guys could do that and get away with it, no strings attached.

"It's not that many Nicole, calm down." I wasn't mad, I was just disappointed. Okay, maybe I was a _little_ mad. In all the conversation, in all the movie nights he'd spent at my house, not once did he mention things like that were going on. Maybe he thought I would get jealous, or mad, or we'd stop being friends. But I would have been less mad and hurt if he'd told me.

At the end of the day, I went down to the band room. I lived here- doing my homework, chilling with friends, surfing the web. Jacob was oh so conveniently there as well. I pulled him into a practice room, not sure what I was going to tell him, but certain I had to tell him _something._

"You slept with Courtney." It slipped off my tongue before I even thought about. He just continued to look at me.

"And your point would be..." I cocked my head at him, wondering exactly how I could get the point across and not admit I was madly in love with him.

"I just thought after what you said at band camp, after everything, that... I've been saving myself for you; don't I get the same respect?" Maybe respect wasn't the right word, but I couldn't think of what else to say. He gaped at me a tiny bit, and then composed himself.

"Nikki, I never asked you to save yourself for me." Cool as a cucumber, he said that. So he could get mad at me when I grinded someone, but I couldn't be upset when he slept with someone? So much for not fighting.

"But you promised. You promised at band camp that we'd be together." He pushed up close to me and took my chin in his hands.

"You're right, I did. But I never promised that I'd be a virgin." Stupid loopholes. How could I not have seen that? "We will be together, Nikki, promise." I smacked on a smile. If he wanted loopholes, I'd catch him in one.

"I know we will. How about you come over for a movie Saturday?" He grinned, thinking all was forgiven. Well, I had a little trick up my sleeve. It would take some cultivation, but I could pull it out soon.

"Sounds great, I'll bring a movie." He flicked my nose and left. As the door closed, I turned my lips in and pressed them together in a hard line. If he wanted to fight dirty, I would fight back, and I would win. Courtney didn't deserve him, _I_ did, and if I had to fight tooth and nail to get them both to see that, then I would.

Saturday came and found my plan fully in action. I buttoned up my shirt and smoothed my hair as the doorbell rang. Flashing myself an evil grin in the mirror, I flitted down the stairs and swung open the door. This time my smile was welcoming, friendly, and nice.

"Hey Jacob, what movie did you bring?"

"_The Last Exorcism,_ cause I know how much you love horror movies." I wrinkled my nose and he winked before coming in. I'd already made popcorn, so we sat down to 'enjoy' what he brought. For some reason, I always let him pick what movie we watched. Usually it was fine- a comedy, a musical, something we could both enjoy. Sometimes he would suck it up and bring a romance to indulge me, and other times he would bring a horror movie for himself. Today was one of those times.

I dreaded every moment of watching that film, but my real motives would make up for it. What do girls do when watching scary movies? They bury their faces in the boy's shoulders. Perfect chance for me to get some snuggle time with him. And after burying my face into him for a little while, the real work could begin.

Half an hour in I was nearly sitting in Jacob's lap, and he had his arm around me while I had my head on his chest. Fifteen minutes later we were reclining, and I was practically on top of him. All it took was a turn of his head during a lull in the movie and his mouth was on mine. I kissed him back, and he stuck his tongue in my mouth, flipping me over so fast the couch moved a little under us, and I was suddenly underneath him.

He was breathing heavy, and his eyes had darkened. His lips attached to mine once more and then his hands were unbuttoning my jeans. My heart started beating faster- I had never done this before, I was nervous, and a little scared. But Jacob was pursuing what he wanted, and his own pants and underwear were off before I knew it.

His kisses got more persistent, and everything below my waist was off, and my heart was hammering in my chest. Doubt flooded through my mind- did I really want to do this? What if this didn't end the way I had planned it?

"Jacob..." He pulled his lips off of me when I mumbled his name. If I had anything to say, I was going to have to say it now, before anything happened that I really regretted and could never take back.

"Just...just be gentle. I've never done this before." He nodded, his hair dangling down in front of his eyes and then he said something.

"You know it's gonna hurt, right, that I'm not doing that on purpose?" I nodded- I knew about sex, I was in marching band and had gone through health classes. "But honey," I looked back up at his eyes, "even if you tell me to stop, I'm not going to until I'm all the way in, okay?" I didn't nod that time. He sighed, trying to explain it differently, obviously in a rush to get this show in the road. "I mean, I'm not going to stop until I...until I break your hymen. That'll be the worst part, and after that's over I'll stop." This time I understood what he meant and nodded.

҉

I was lying on top of his chest when it was over, with him rubbing my back. We'd pulled our clothes back on, just in case anybody came over unexpectedly.

"I'm sorry Nicole." I pushed myself up on my elbows and looked at him curiously.

"What exactly are you apologizing for? The...the hurting part or something else?" He pulled me back down to him and continued with what he had been saying.

"I'm sorry for both- one I couldn't control, the whole hurting you part. The other thing I'm sorry about is the fact that I have to go back to Courtney after this, and honestly, I don't want to." I titled my face to look at him, and he pecked me on the lips before I spoke.

"You know you _don't_ have to go back to her, right?" He stared at me, puzzled, and I slid off of him, sitting on the floor and looking up. I tried crossing my legs, but that didn't work well after what had just happened- I was still sore.

"We could leave, together. It's not like I want to stay here with my parents, and you have enough credits already to graduate." His eyes nearly bugged out of his head at my suggestion.

"Are you serious? Just...leave, now? What about being drum major next year for you, and college for me?" I took his hand.

"Didn't you say NYU accepted you _last year_ and invited you up, but you said you would come when you officially graduated? Well show up now, they'll still take you. And as long as we're together, I can figure something out, like giving private lessons or something." The idea was rooted in his brain now. Even if he said no, it would still be in the back of his mind, making him think _what if_ every now and then. My eyes glowed hopefully- this was what all of this had been for. He _had_ to say yes.

"You're packed and ready to go, right now?" I nodded my head and stood, making him do the same.

"I have a bag upstairs with everything I'll need. We couldn't bring cell phones, laptops, even an iPod. The police can track anything these days. I already wrote a note to my parents too." He nodded and grabbed me, kissing me hard.

"I'll be back in half an hour with my own bag." I grinned, nodded, kissed him again, and ran upstairs.

My plan had worked. I had had my doubts, but it had all come to fruition. Looking at the letter to my parents, I realized Mr. Sacket deserved one too. He was like a second father to both of us, and would be wondering why we had suddenly run off like this.

Dear Mr. Sacket,

I know this isn't fair to you, leaving you without a section leader and drum major in the middle of the season. But you always told us to follow our dreams and not let anything get in our way, and right now, the thing getting in our way is being in high school. Therefore, that had to end for the dream to be achieved. You probably think it's not very wise for us to run off like this- that we're just teenagers and it's never going to work, that one or both of us will show back up in a month or two and say, "You were right, we just couldn't make it." But we won't let that happen.

For our own reasons we're not going to tell you where we're going, but I had to let you know that I love you like a father and that you had a huge impact on my life. Never stop being an amazing band director, and I hope you don't think of me as a failure because I ran away with some boy when I was sixteen. Think of me as strong, outgoing, or a dreamer instead. Good luck with the band, I know you can handle it. As replacement drum major for me, pick Madison. She was at lessons last year, and she has potential inside. She's a bass clarinet player, and I don't know her last name. Have fun with the band, and give them my love and Matt my appreciation, he was great to work with.

Nicole An


End file.
